if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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