He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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