he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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