thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
