i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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