I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
