dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
