you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize