Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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