He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
