She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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