Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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