this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
