I love black thongs
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
bring money and cleavage
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
