my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize