Someone shit on the floor
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
