Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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