i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
