I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
