I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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