i just google imaged poop.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
