do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
