So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
