If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
