You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
