No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
