Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She even gives head with a lisp.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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