i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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