We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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