My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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