He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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