Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize