two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
