i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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