I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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