Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I had to cum in my sink.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
