Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
