Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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