yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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