I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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