: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize