cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
