Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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