Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just had sex on a roof
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
