Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
