What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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