Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
