physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
