You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
