people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize