you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
accomplished twins. life is a go
My balls are so social today.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
