well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
