Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
