My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
