my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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