I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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