everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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