So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize