I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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