Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
