I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
