I'm going to jail i love you
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
