Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
